Self Indulgent Pain

will I see tomorrow

bright and shiny

and painless

crushed spirit

at every step

when pain recedes in background

and shame

takes the centrestage

shame in the limp

shame in the slow gait

shame in bloated body

nights 

they don't let it up

their vice-like grip

crushes bones

and the muscles

and the hope

of a bright and shiny and painless tomorrow