Snap shot….

What is it that I care for?

People, meeting me for the first time, inevitably ask this or something similar to this. What do I do? What are my hobbies?

… and I am always at a loss to answer them.

I seem to do a lot of things that most people seem to be doing. But…do I really care for it? Or is it just my choice of activity, for the moment? Would it bother me if I didn’t do it? The answer doesn’t seem very encouraging.

I feel at a loss. I mean, I enjoy these activities but don’t really find my life depending on them. I don’t feel a sense of achievement after doing them. They have their enjoyment factor and feel good factor but nothing that would reduce the quality of my life if I didn’t get a chance to do them.

Its not that I haven’t dabbled in different kind of things. I have picked up different fields of activities too. Worked at it, enjoyed it and then left it behind. Why? Am I a loser? Am I fearful of finding out that I cannot reach the zenith and so leave things midway? Do I even care to reach the top? Isn’t the journey itself supposed to give me a high if it is the journey that I really want to take?

And this brings me to “what is it THAT I really want to do, that I need to do” in my life? Will I ever find that one specific thing that will give me the feeling that the reason for my existence has been achieved. Does such a thing even exist? Or am I just wasting my time thinking inane things….

Lost…. as ever!!! Bidding my time till I find my answers…..