Part time writer

Suddenly I came to realise that I disliked opening MS-Word. The reason was quite apparent. With a blank page in front of me, I had to figure out that which needed to be said. And not just say it but present it in an attractive, alluring fashion. If the words, the idea didn’t draw in the reader, they would have had been better left unwritten.

Now I am one of those types who, when they come to realise that they are afraid of something, they cajole themselves to do it just to see how far they would go. So here I am with a blank page in front of me; wondering about all those writers who cannot get their fill of words. How do they manage it? Day in, day out churning of words – words that make sense, that invite the readers to react, that trigger off more ideas in other writers.

And then a question sort of took shape. Would I like to be one of those? Or would I prefer to sharpen my skill as a writer but not write because of any compulsive need. The type who, once in a while, puts an idea to words. Words are needed because the idea demands to be communicated to a wider audience than found by my jabbering tongue.

For now it’s the words that dictate what I write. Sometimes they demand a blank canvas so that they can run across them and I marvel at the picture painted. Sometimes an internal churning happens and I get past my fear to open up the MS-Word. They flow, without saying much, perhaps just to show their power over me? Whatever it is, I feel like a helpless witness to a process that I do not understand. And at times like this I wish I were one of those writers who wrote because they knew their life, their identity was linked to it.